My name is Jacky Rands, I am a mother to five children (all adults now) I have 6 gorgeous grandchildren and a lot of life experience. I am a NLP practitioner, a mental health first-aider, a qualified nutritionist and a Wellness Advocate with Doterra essential oils.
This website is dedicated to my story, what happened to me while trying to heal my son's mental health. The therapists who helped us along the way, what I learned and how it all helped to improve my health too.
I turned to natural health solutions in 2016 when I saw the profound affect they had on my son following 30 years of suffering at the hands of anxiety, depression and severe panic attacks.
My son was born in 1986, he was a screamer, he was my third child, so I wasn't a new mum who was maybe a bit 'neurotic' as they say, I knew something was wrong with my baby, I just didn't know what it was. When he cried I knew he was in pain, his cry was different, he looked distressed, he was unable to settle, but doctors told me "give him time to adapt to his new surroundings".....I said "no this is different, this sounds like he is in pain", they told me he's fine.
This went on for months, he was not sleeping and constantly crying, I had never felt stress like this, I was not sleeping and trying to function throughout the day with three small children to look after it felt impossible. I returned to my doctor and begged her to help me, she could see my distress and booked my son in for his first assessment with a paediatrician, I was excited, yes finally I will get some answers!
After waiting a few hours in the hospital while they carried out tests on my son, I remember the paediatrician walking up to me in the waiting room and calling my name, I stood up, he said "tests all came back fine, nothing wrong with your son, I'm afraid you just have a miserable baby" And that was it.
Life went on, we all struggled as a family, the stress levels mounted and I became angry, I wasn't coping and my sons behaviour was out of control, life felt very depressing, and I had no energy to deal with it, I saw no light at the end of the tunnel, this was my life and I had to get on with it.
In 1990 when my son was just 4yrs old he was diagnosed with ADHD. In 1990 no one had heard of ADHD, there was no books on it, no internet i could research or YouTube videos to watch, but hey at least I had a diagnosis, now they can treat it.......... unfortunately no, and I was lead to believe that for so many years.
In 2004 the diagnosis became Asperger's. Despite being under a mental health team, having assessment after assessment and seeing far too many doctors over the years we saw little in the way of improvements and life was exhausting for us all.
Mental health consumed my son, his panic attacks spiralled out of control and when they was at their worst he was calling an ambulance almost every day, convinced he had a heart defect and no one was listening to him. The cost to the NHS over the years has been astronomical......lets think about that for a second
He had very little in the way of schooling, because he was unable to cope in a mainstream school, I fought to get him statemented, and when he was nothing changed, for one year I had fortnightly meetings with SENCO officers, teachers, social workers, and again after twelve months of talking, nothing changed.......what was the cost of all this?
At the age of 14 the school pretty much gave up on my son and so he left school with little education, no exams and a complete anxious mess. Who was ever going to employ him? How much of a drain on public services was he going to be, again what is the cost of this?
My sons first attempt at suicide was when he was 13yrs old, he took an overdose, not enough to kill him but he thought he had. His second attempt was at the age of 16, this time he took more tablets, but thankfully he survived, but what happened following these attempts.....more doctors, more psychiatrists, more assessments, even that was exhausting for us all but especially my son, his mental health was deteriorating more and more, why? Because at no time in his life was his needs ever being met.
Aged 19 years old he developed an eating disorder after a choking incident, he believed if he ate solid food he would choke to death, so he couldn't bring himself to eat it. Again the only option I thought I had was to take him to my doctor, where again I was told he wasn't malnourished so he was fine.......
He was not fine and these trips to the doctor continued because he was a mental mess and I wanted something done! So we saw a different doctor, he had seen so many over the years. One particular doctor's appointment stood out for me, my son was now 27 years old by this time, he was crying, his nails were bitten down to nothing, he was so thin he looked like he had just been rescued from a concentration camp, it was heartbreaking to see him so frail.
This doctor was hard-faced, looked at my son in his weak state and said "I don't know what you want me to keep doing".... that was it for me, I stood up and said "if you don't know what to do for him, how the hell am I supposed to know"! That was in 2016, we walked out of that doctors office and we have not seen a doctor since that day.
As a parent I was at a loss, my son wasn't coping with life, with just living, it was utterly soul-destroying and we just had to get on with it, I did not know what else to do for him but rely on the doctors advice. But I never gave up searching for answers. In my heart I knew at every appointment I dragged my poor son through there would be no change, no answers at the end of it and it was just making him despair even more.
Every appointment became a disappointment and we lost all hope.
It was at a business networking event in 2016 that I met an amazing Homeopath called Jennifer Varney. This particular day had been my third experience of seeing Jenny at this type of networking event, I had heard her mention essential oils but I was not interested, I had even dismissed her message twice before, what did I know about essential oils, they smelt nice, you used them in massage........who cares.
By this time my son was in a terrible state, he was suicidal and felt unable to go on any longer. I did not know how to help him and neither did the medical profession. My energy levels were rock-bottom, I was losing my mind at the thought that one day I was going to receive a call to say they had found my sons dead body somewhere, or I would walk in to find him dead on my kitchen floor. My mind was full of what can I do next...
But the universe had other ideas. At this third encounter with Jenny I watched her perform EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on a young lady suffering with an anxiety attack that morning, using this technique and incorporating Doterra essential oils I was amazed at just how quickly this woman transformed, how the oils had helped to calm her and the impact EFT had, I felt a level of excitement I had not felt before and I instantly knew that I needed Jenny to see my son.
The following week, she came to our home and a 90 minute session of EFT & the oils changed our lives forever! When I walked into the room after his first session I knew something had changed, he was different... he was smiling, he had a new energy about him, I had never seen this before, I was overwhelmed and confused by what I saw but in a completely good way. For the very first time in his life I knew I had found the first step towards the help he needed
I now understand what took place in that first session: EFT was a mindset shift, he had so much negative imagery about himself, he did not know who he was, he only knew who he had been told he was.
The oils she used contain chemicals from a plant that can have a physiological response on the body, so when my son inhaled Balance oil it calmed him and enabled him to have more control over his anxious feelings. Combining these two therapies together was so effective, I was so impressed by the results I saw I decided there and then that I had to learn more about these methods.
I shadowed Jenny for the next six months, learning more, I then went on to study EFT, and learn more about these incredible oils. To further help him and his emotional well-being I also took a course in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and again this has moved us on even further, and in so many ways.
The next step for us was to then contact a Naturopath to review his diet and lifestyle, and again after learning more about the importance of gut health in regards to his mental health, introducing some diet changes, supplements, and exercise his health took another turn for the better. Again I was so blown away by his results that I took a course in nutrition and gained a Naturopathy and Alkaline diploma and I have never looked back!
Since we have been on this road of natural health solutions my son has improved beyond recognition. He started to go out and actually have a life, he eventually met a girl and in March 2018 his girlfriend gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, grand-baby number 5! I never thought I would see the day, my son had his own family and at last he felt happy and that child is a gift for him, a reward - all thanks to finding Jenny, these incredible oils, some wonderful therapists and the road to rebuilding his health using only natural solutions
All this knowledge has changed our lives forever and all the time while learning what food is doing to us, what a toxic lifestyle can cause I have learned how to improve my own health and now no longer suffer agonising pain from arthritis and other health concerns. Now I have all this knowledge and experience I want to pass it on and help others as much as I can, I am making it my mission to educate others by exposing them to what helped us.
These web pages will show you who helped me, what we had to change and what I would do if I had all this knowledge 30 years ago! I want to help any parent going through this right now, please contact me, join my mission to change how we treat mental illness, get these therapies out there.
Please check out my Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1764314677194092/
The Essential Being FB page is about creating a community of people all interested in self-care and looking to understand how disease is created in the body. I have connected with some incredible therapists over the years and they are all looking to educate others, empower others and build your knowledge so you are able to make more informed choices about your health care
During my 5 years of networking I met many holistic therapists, I have partnered with those who have amazed me and I believe have the most to offer others. You are going to hear more about them throughout this website.
If you would like to join me on social media to discover more health tips, learn about our classes/events/workshops: please add yourself to my Facebook page here https://www.facebook.com/groups/1764314677194092/